I have so much to say.... yet I choose not to...

It is 2012 and I might start my blog again... Maybe just not yet, but soon.

About changes, memories and inspiration

It is amazing, how time just literally flies. I was tiding my room today and found a shoe box full of my old diaries - of course I started to read them....oh dear, have I changed! I remember, when I was younger everybody told me that I was clearly the most emotional person on earth, the most mood-changing, longing for romance-kind of person... It did kind of hurt my feelings back then, but oh god, it was true. These diaries are full of that emotional crap and I was almost embarrassed to read them, but well hey, thats all still me.

The passed two years have calmed me down in a way, I have seen and felt many things and it is only normal just to grow up in some point. The year in Spain was absolutely amazing! I have never been happier - I found the most fantastic "spices of life" - great food, breathtaking beautiful places and love.

This experience gave me a lot of inner strength, that I'm only now starting to realise.

Living in London is crazy, scary, difficult and fantastic. And I absolutely love it! Life, people, places...Concerts, music, art... Definitely my place to be at the moment!

Today, standing on the doorstep of my 25th birthday I can say that yes, I know where I'm coming from, where I stand at the moment and most importantly - where I am going! Sometimes its all about enjoying the moment and being happy, but then again, doesn't it make you happy, if you know what you want! Most people are unhappy because they don't know...

I know, that I'm going to have an amazing birthday-party in Riisipere, in my country house (summer residence ;) and all my closest friends will be here!!! I don't even care about the presents, because lately the time you spend with your family and friends is the greatest present! After all, I don't live here anymore and I don't see "my people" very often!

Well...happy new year to me :)

Rebirth of my blog

Soo... I did it - I moved to London. Before I start describing London, I need to explain something: my blog has been silent for many months and before the last post even more silent for months. I haven't felt the inspiration for writing....Which is a pity... I also haven't exactly felt it for taking photos either... :( but yesterday I was walking in a Park - everything was so beautiful and inspiring and I had an idea - I felt a sudden urge to write my diary again and why not to do it IN ENGLISH!

The spring in London has started. I feel it! Its in the air and in my head. Although I have lots of writing and practicing to do, I still had couple of seconds to stop and breathe in the fragrance of spring!

London - London is amazing, fantastic, lovely.... crowded, smelly, busy, huge city! You need to move fast, think fast and act fast, only then you will survive! During the six, almost seven months I have learned to avoid rush hours and I'm used to carry an umbrella even with a sunny day, because you'll never know what kind of weather you could have after one hour.

I have been to amazing concerts at Wigmore Hall, Royal Festival Hall, Barbican Centre... I have visited National Gallery four times, my second favorite is Tate Modern...

At the moment we have three weeks holiday from Guildhall and I'm preparing for my final recital in Estonian Academy and writing my dissertation...aaarrrgghhhh...

Guildhall is colorful...the people are very nice, different, crazy, polite, cool... musicians - we have to be a little of everything.

I have found friends, fantastic ensemble partners and great professors. I still can't believe where did I take the courage to go for the audition to Guildhall...I still feel a little bit that I don't deserve it. But I definitely damn love it here!

well...I have explained myself..... See you tomorrow!

London diarys

London - that's my city!

Tere kallis blogi!

Kurb, et olen nõnda sõnaaher olnud netimaadel. Ilmselt on sellel lugematul hulgal põhjusi, mida ei hakkagi hetkel lahkama! 

Málaga aasta niidiotsad sõlmisin juba juuni lõpus, kuid süda on mul selle paigaga ja kogu Hispaaniaga seotud ilmselt elu lõpuni! Leidsin  sõprust, head toitu, rõõmu, sädet, lõõmavaid kirgi just muusika poole pealt ning armastust! 

Olen alustanud oma elus uut perioodi, mille nimeks on London :) 

Esimene nädal Guildhall'is möödus kiirelt, pidevalt mingeid pabereid täites ja pealaialiotsas ringi joostes! 

Londoni elurütm on midagi, millega harjumiseks läheb ilmselt veidi rohkem aega, kui 10 päeva. Kuid juba tunnen end suhteliselt koduselt.  Üha enam tundub mulle, et kodulinn Tallinn on justkui väike küla ning seda kõige paremas mõttes! Samas suur õnneotsijaid kutsuv London on nagu saladuste laegas, kus iga nurga pealt võid leida kalliskivi! Kindlasti peab siin igal sammul oma õiguse eest seisma ning nõudma ja enda kaitseks igasugu pabereid näitama. 

Hetkel kutsub mind unemaa, kuid kavatsen õige pea veelgi rohkem Londoni päeviku teemadel blogida :) 

xxx

Jaanuarimõtted

Tere üle pika aja..

Esimene suur ahvivaimustus Hispaania-maast on möödunud - nüüd ma lihtsalt elan siin toredal lõunamaal, kus inimesed on vahvalt emotsionaalsed ja räägivad ülikiiresti:) 

Olen veidi kurb, et pole suutnud korralikult blogi pidada. Mitte et poleks sündmusi millest kirjutada, kuid vahel tundub, et on parem salvestada need oma mällu, kui üritada neid püüdlikult veebipäevikusse talletada. Samuti on mul ka pildistamisega.. Siin on nii palju ilusat, aga ma lihtsalt ei jaksa kõike pildistada - seda on liiga palju! Ei taha lihtsalt kirjutada kirjutamise pärast ja pildistada pildistamise pärast...

Jõulud kodus möödusid suhteliselt kopsupõletikuliselt ning 2-nädalase jõulutoidu- ning antibiootikumidekuuri tähe all. Vähemalt olen nüüd terve!

Täna hommikul ärgates tundus esimest korda toatemperauur normaalne, ei pidanudki kohe seda imelikku küttekeha, (mis neil siin hispaanias moes on) sisse lülitama.  Ilm on muutumas soojemaks ja see on hea! Esimene märk Málagas kevadest :)  Ehk saab juba märtsis randa...

Muutun ka mina - rahulikumaks, muretumaks ja enesekindlamaks. See oli ainuõige otsus Eestist mõneks ajaks "põgeneda". Peale jõule oli hetkeks veidi raske siia naasta, kuid siiski kasulik! Olen siin olnud 4 kuud ja mõtteriiulitel hakkab valitsema vaikselt mingi kord ja selgus.

Suuremad unistused on täitumas... Uskumatu, kuid septembris kolingi Londonisse! Üle hulga aja tunnen, et võin endale pika pai teha oma otsustuste eest. Idee audtitonile minna oli hulljulge ja ma ei uskunud iial, et mind vastu võetakse. Ma olen endale midagi väga olulist tõestanud...

Nüüd peab vaid samas vaimus jätkama ja veel kolm korda rohkem harjutama, et järgmine aasta tulevaste koolikaaslastega "samas liigas" püsida! Oeh...ja muidugi raha koguma!

Hispaania-maastikul olen samuti edusamme teinud - pursin vigast ja konarlikku hispaania keelt, mul on siin paar head sõpra ja palju tuttavaid...ja isegi paar orkestrit on mind kehaks kutsunud... sujub!

...la vida es bella...